You long for peace of mind, peace of soul, but cannot find it? Of this peace - always a great reward - our Lord Himself says where and how we are to seek it: Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me: for I am meek and lowly of heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls (Matthew 11:29).
None can achieve this except through battling with temptations and through suffering great sorrows. Our Lord, too, fought, suffered, and sorrowed much before the time of His death on the cross. He was reproached, vilified, humiliated, and tempted. And He laboriously built up for us a picture of His own life on earth, which all of us must strive to follow.
Staretz Macarius of Optina